Jessica Ebelhar/View Kelly Thomas-Boyers, right, hugs Adam's Place facilitator Rachel Townsend at the Toast to Healing Hearts Wine Tasting and Silent Auction event at Piero's, 355 Convention Center Drive, on May 19. Enlarge Jessica Ebelhar/View Kelly Thomas-Boyers, right, hugs Adam's Place facilitator Rachel Townsend at the Toast to Healing Hearts Wine Tasting and Silent Auction event at Piero's, 355 Convention Center Drive, on May 19.

By Kristi Jourdan
VIEW STAFF WRITER
Posted: May 31, 2011 | 9:43 a.m.
Updated: May 31, 2011 | 6:11 p.m.

Death strikes a chord with everyone.

Finding a way to regain spirit can be difficult if grief is left to fester.

Behind closed doors at Adam’s Place Center for Grieving Children and Families, 5017 Alta Drive, children 3 to 18 and their families can deal with sudden deaths in their lives.

It’s a safe place to share the most painful of memories.

In its first year, Adam’s Place has helped more than 150 children cope with grief, partnered with Clark County School District guidance counselors, moved from shared space in a school to its own modest home and beco me a unique valleywide resource educating and encouraging discussions about how to pick up the pieces when tragedy strikes.

This was all done despite a challenging economy that has devastated clients and their families financially, physically and emotionally. Many of the families that use the center’s services are dealing with suicides because of the economic downturn.

A year ago, Kayla Falls couldn’t talk about losing her father, Ryan. He died suddenly from a massive heart attack shortly after Father’s Day. Kayla has attended sessions regularly at Adam’s Place since then and said the center has helped ease her pain.

“I remember when I just first started going,” the 13-year-old said. “People would say little things that would make me go in tears. Going through (the program) almost a year now, when someone says something, I can think about my dad and I won’t break out in tears. I can think of the happy moments.”

Kayla said she appreciates the program’s facilitators for understanding that everyone deals with loss differently.

“I feel so safe to talk about my dad,” she said. “I feel very comfortable. I can be open, and I know no one will hurt me because I’m being open.”

Kayla’s mother, Jenifer , said she turned to the center after trying to learn about grief on her own following the death of her husband of 15 years. It was too much to handle.

“This is a support group,” Jenifer Falls said. “This is the club we all need to be a part of, but none of us want to be a member of it. We have all walks of life coming in these doors all for different reasons. Sometimes, in loss, people think if they’ve had a certain type of loss they won’t fit in, but this is for everyone.”

She and Kayla have strengthened their mother-daughter bond in the process.

“There are no words to describe the changes in both of us,” Jenifer Falls said. “We’re both mourning in our own way. At the first few meetings, she didn’t talk. Now, she tells stories about her dad. And we’re doing this together. I’ve learned patience and to just let her be.”

Clients must attend an orientation meeting before they can regularly attend the biweekly program. Volunteers undergo background checks and also are trained to listen to children deal with grief. The center’s services are free, but donations are accepted.

The demand is great, founder Kelly Thomas-Boyers said.

“This cuts across all human common denominators,” she said. “This brings together people with similar experiences, and through some education, they can learn how to help each other cope.”

But it isn’t counseling. Trained facilitators lead group sessions in discussion. Those who give their time are dealing with their own losses, too — the brothers, sisters, cousins and parents who died unexpectedly.

Thomas-Boyers can relate to those she wants to help. Her son, Adam, died in a car accident in 2007. The 21-year-old wasn’t wearing his seat belt. There weren’t many resources available, so she made her own place to grieve and help others cope with their losses, too.

Eventually, the program will partner with police agencies, teachers, doctors, nurses and elsewhere, Thomas-Boyers added. She’s learned a lot in the past year. The program has overcome its fair share of struggles. Finding funding was a challenge, but grants, donations and other private resources have helped handle costs.

Sometimes people aren’t cut out to be facilitators, sharing too much about their own personal experiences rather than helping others grieve, Thomas-Boyers said. In that case, people have been given other responsibilities to help the cause.

Dazil Sampson wants to see Adam’s Place become a global endeavor. The 14-year-old lost his dad, Todd, to a heart attack last year.

“Right after my dad passed away I was angry, frustrated and irritated,” Sampson said. “I was mad at my dad for passing away. I didn’t understand why, and it happened so fast. After going (to Adam’s Place), I’m not angry anymore.

“(The sessions) always start off a little rough. The thought of talking about your loved one makes it weird at first, but then you get more comfortable. After that, it’s really nice.”

Contact Downtown and North Las Vegas View reporter Kristi Jourdan at kjourdan@viewnews.com or 383-0492.

Jenifer Falls, left, and facilitator Erin Breen at Adam's Place, a Las Vegas center for children and teenagers dealing with loss, reflect on the ways people react to death.

Kayla Falls calls them her “bumming moments.”

It’s those times when the 12-year-old is reminded that her father, Ryan, suddenly died this year from a massive heart attack.

It was shortly after Father’s Day.

He was only 39.

Kayla’s mother, Jenifer , chokes up when she talks about her husband of almost 15 years.

The 41-year-old wipes at a river of tears streaming down her face as she holds a photograph of the large man clad in an oversized white T-shirt. His tattooed arms are crossed in front of him, and his head is cocked sideways — as if he’s reminding the person behind the camera that he’s a tough guy.

But he sure loved Kayla.

Kayla Falls, center, 12, joyfully talks Monday about her father, who died this summer, with facilitator Rhetta Wengert, left, and Maggie Saunders, right, whose father died 17 years ago. They are meeting at Adam's Place, a Las Vegas center for families who've lost loved ones.

“It’s really sad that we lost her father, but at some point in her life, unfortunately, she’ll have other losses whether it be other relatives, friends or a pet,” Jenifer Falls said. “I want to try and instill in her some of the tools she’ll need to just cope.”

That’s why she took her daughter to the Adam’s Place Center for Grieving Children and Families, which opened its doors last week. The center, which helps children ages 3 to 18 deal with sudden deaths in their lives, is housed in a modest yellow building formerly known as a preschool on South Decatur.

To help people like Kayla.

“It’s hard to hear kids at school talk about their dads,” Kayla Falls said. “It’s nice to go to a place and not be judged.”

Emilio Parga, center, speaks with facilitators Monday at Adam's Place before breaking into smaller groups to work with families.

Clients must attend an orientation meeting — held the last Thursday of every month — before they can regularly attend the biweekly program. Volunteers undergo background checks and also are trained to listen to children deal with grief.

Jenifer Falls added that she tried to read and learn as much about grief as she could to help her daughter, but it was too emotionally exhausting.
“As far as us communicating together, it hasn’t been easy for us,” she said. “As a society we’re not taught to deal with death very well. Be strong, don’t cry, don’t talk about it. Eat a pie.”

Talking with her mom hasn’t been easy, the seventh-grader acknowledged.

“This place is really nice because there’s not a lot of places you can talk about it,” Kayla Falls said. “I will explode with conversation when I’m here.”

AnnaLee Kruyer holds a photo of daughter Iysha Rebecca Rose Kruyer, 2, who drowned. Kruyer is a facilitator at Adam's Place.

That’s exactly what founder Kelly Thomas-Boyers wanted — a place where children and their families felt safe enough to share their most painful memories.
After all, she knows what they’re going through.

Her son, Adam, died in a car accident in 2007. The 21-year-old wasn’t wearing his seat belt. Thomas-Boyers had all the grief in the world and nowhere to turn.

So she made her own place to grieve and to help others cope with their losses.

“There was such a great need for this,” Thomas-Boyers said. “It’s great to see people really step up. People and volunteers are so enthusiastic about what they’re doing here.”

That’s because those who give their time are dealing with their own losses — the brothers, sisters, cousins and parents who died unexpectedly. The volunteers aren’t there to fix anything. They simply listen.

The handful of volunteers hold group sessions once every two weeks for children to talk, draw, color and play their way through grief. This week, the kids drew name banners of their loved ones and added drawings of their memories. They also shared pictures of happy memories.

Kayla Falls passed around a keychain with a picture of her dad on it. Halloween was their favorite holiday. This Halloween will be difficult, she told the group.

It doesn’t hurt so much when she talks about her dad’s death. She talks the most when she’s with her friends at Adam’s Place.

“This place should be a franchise like McDonald’s,” Jenifer Falls said. “There should be Adam’s Places all across the nation, and everybody should know about it.

“You look to the left, you look the right, and you’re not alone. I want other families to know there’s other people and that we can all cry together.”

Contact Kristi Jourdan at kjourdan@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0279.

View the full invitation here

The event is Thursday, May 19th, 2011 and benefits Adam’s Place – a grief center for children, teens, and families.

It will be held from 5:30p to 7:00p at Piero’s Restaurant – 355 Convention Center Drive, Las Vegas, NV 89109.

Mr. Tony Goitia from Southern Wine and Spirits of Nevada will kick the evening off with wine tasting tips and a series of toasts in honor of the children we serve and the volunteers and donors whose gracious support make Adam’s Place possible – a place for healing hearts.

Come eat, drink, and be merry and open your purse strings just a little, knowing it is for a truly worthy cause.

Reserve your $25 ticket today by calling Adam’s Place at (702) 481-1996. If unable to attend, mail your contribution to: Adam’s Place, 840 S. Rancho Dr, Las Vegas, NV, 89106

Adam’s Place is recognized as a non-profit charity under Section 501(c) 3 of the IRS Code. Your contribution is tax deductible.

Cheers to all on behalf of our children of our very first year!

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